- Introduction to attachment and parent-child relationships
- Attachment and parental alienating behaviors
- Attachment and family court
- Regular contact with parents
- Consistency with daily routine
- Triangulation and involving the child in parental matters
- In essence...
Introduction
As attachments are shaped by parental influence during a child’s early years (Bretherton, 1992), their attachment style and sense of security may change either slightly or dramatically based on traumatic life events or changes in the caregiver’s behavior toward the child (Mikulincer et al., 2002; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007, 2012).
Suggesting...
If one parent displays negative behaviors toward the child could potentially impact the attachment process (Rees, 2005), exposing the child to emotional stress (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1976) with negative long-term emotional health implications (Ben-Ami & Baker, 2012; Verrocchio et al., 2018).
Because...
At all ages, parental alienating behaviors and the quality of their interactions may disrupt the attachment bond between parents and child. Notably, the bond may be disrupted by family court proceedings, particularly in the presence of parental alienating behaviors.
Indicating...
A parent who directs negative behaviors toward their co-parent or involves the child when denigrating the co-parent might contribute to the child not trusting their feelings about their parent (Jaffe et al., 2017) and becoming confused about which parent is “right.”
Impact on the child...
Further, parental behaviors may also result in the child feeling unable to express their love or positive feelings towards one parent without experiencing negativity or retribution from the other (Ben-Ami & Baker, 2012).
For example...
Researchers Baker and Ben-Ami (2011) found that children exposed to parental alienating behaviors had a higher propensity for emotional issues, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, in addition to insecure attachment styles.
Why...
In essence, the trajectory of attachment development may be disrupted by conflict between the parents; hence, further understanding of these dynamics could provide relevant insights for legal and mental health providers working with families in family court matters.
Attachment and family court matters
Attachment theory is a common framework used for understanding parent-child relationships, which is relevant in family court matters and parental behaviors (Garber, 2004; McIntosh, 2011).
Because...
Linking attachment theory to family court decisions focuses on the quality of the parent-child relationship and its impact on the child when determining parenting time, using the best interest of the child standard.
Three recurring themes in family court matters
- Regular contact with courts determining consistent parenting time
- Parents working toward providing consistent daily routines
- Triangulation (involving the child in parental dynamics)
Regular contact
The courts ensuring both parents have consistent parenting (McIntosh et al., 2010). Regular contact with parents facilitates the attachment process, or, as McIntosh et al. stated in 2010: “Attachment is built on the history of interaction.”
Suggesting...
For a child to form and maintain a quality attachment to a parent, it is necessary for that child to spend time with their parent regularly (Garber, 2004). Disruptions, whether slight, severe, isolated, or chronic, as well as the quality and quantity of the time spent together, may impact the parent-child relationship (Main & Solomon, 1990) and influence the strength of the attachment.
Because...
This may manifest in poorer academic performance (Kruk, 2018) and an increased risk of emotional issues in adulthood (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011; Mikulincer et al., 2002), with lasting effects.
For example...
Researchers Rostad and Whitaker (2016) found a strong association between a child’s sense of closeness with their parents and the closeness they feel with their spouse as an adult (Rostad & Whitaker, 2016).
Consistent schedules
Providing similar routines and adhering to a consistent schedule is beneficial to the child.
For example...
In a recent study examining routines among children ages 5-9 years in shared parenting arrangements, sleep quality was influenced by a consistent bedtime routine (Rudd et al., 2018).
This finding is echoed by Ludolph (2012), who also found that parents working together to create similar routines for bed and mealtime was particularly effective.
Additionally, Ludolph found that a positive parent-child relationship was supported by parents coordinating their child’s preferences for foods, toys, and other needs.
Indicating...
Other helpful behaviors included having photos of their co-parent in view, making positive references about the co-parent, and seeking support from a mental health professional or family law specialist if one parent chooses to withhold meaningful information about a child.
Triangulation
During negotiations about parenting arrangements, the child may become triangulated or brought into the communication dynamic between the parents (Fatemi et al., 2022), particularly in high-conflict family court matters.
Suggesting...
This could lead to behaviors that may adversely affect the child’s attachment to one or both parents (Garber, 2012). Additionally, Garber points out that a child who is brought into the parental conflict might experience “a destructive and self-reinforcing spiral of anxiety-fear-greater anxiety,” possibly sabotaging an existing secure relationship with the other parent (Garber, 2004).
Indicating...
Examining attachment within the context of parenting arrangements is an important topic. However, family court matters are not only about the relationship between a parent and their child. Parenting matters also include the court system, legal services, and many other entities outside the immediate family system. In essence, further assessment is needed to understand parent-child dynamics in a family.
For example...
Parental conflict is recognized as a significant factor leading to ongoing litigation, potentially harming the relationship between parents and children; this can also impact the financial and emotional well-being of parents and the viability of the parenting plan (Rosenfeld, 2020).
In essence...
From an attachment theory lens, during negotiations about parenting arrangements, the child may become triangulated or brought into the communication dynamic between the parents (Fatemi et al., 2022), particularly in high-conflict family court matters. This should be a concern in families that involve conflictual relationships with their co-parent.
Related article
Bowlby (1969) suggested that attachment develops when a child experiences a sense of safety and security, stemming from their innate need for closeness to their primary caregiver.
Family court matters influence the everyday lives of family members at multiple levels. This article outlines the situations that many families experience.
